First Deadline Met

In a HUGE step of faith, we sent our first set of fees to AGCI today. My husband and I met this afternoon at my work and had all the paperwork notarized. We overnighted the package. Our dossier materials should be arriving soon. This is no small step.........we've emptied our adoption pot and will have more money due soon. Please pray for us! We serve a big, God! I know He is faithful to the end.

A moment of clarity

On Saturday night, Rich and I actually went on a date. We were able to hire a babysitter and go out to dinner. It was very nice to have a few hours alone. We went to the Cheesecake Factory and ate entirely too much. Somewhere between our entrees and our Peanut Butter Cup cheesecake (we split it) there was a moment of clarity.

We undeniably know God called us to adopt.

Between the generous donations from our family/friends and payment for some unexpected work, our adoption pot has risen to over $4000. That's 95% of our payment due in a few days.

The deadline is looming. If we don't meet it, we'd either have to apply for an extension or apply to the program again. Neither of which sounds appealing at this point.

Under normal circumstances, we'd be jumping for joy over the provision. We're literally within a few hundred dollars of meeting our goal! But.......we have this lingering concern.....this lingering sadness. Just when I felt our roadblock of financial constraint was lifting (read the entry from March 24th), our efforts to save Lucy dwindled our pot considerably. Our moment of clarity, allowed us to see that that situation was an attack to get us off course. We need to stand in faith....we need to step out in faith....we need to trust, that we will have perfect provision when the time is appropriate.

Yes, we will have to pay for our home study in full in just a few weeks. And yes, I have NO IDEA how that will happen. But for right now, I don't need to know how.

We agreed to take it one-step at a time. Our first fees are due in a few days and we have almost the whole amount. Let's just send it in and not worry about tomorrow......for as a very wise person said "tomorrow has enough worries of it's own!"

So, it was settled. We're stepping out in faith and sending in our pot! It was that simple and back we went to engorging ourselves on cheesecake.

Our Flood

On Sunday morning, my daughter was a little cranky during church. So, I took her outside to enjoy some fresh air and we ended up sitting in the car as she fell asleep. I kept changing the radio station hoping to hear a sermon of my own. Instead, I ended up looking around in the abyss of our mini-van basket. Between the DVD's, take-out menus, gum wrappers, single socks and ball caps: I found the tape of another prophetic word that was spoken over us about one year ago. It blessed my heart mightily.

I just see a mighty, mighty......I see a mighty flood coming. It's not a flood that should harm. It's a flood of refreshing. A flood usually washes away things. This flood is bringing things. It's a mighty wave. A mighty flood. It's not a flood of destruction. It's not a flood of harm. I hear the Lord saying it's a flood of resources.

Along with that flood, I think it's like a washing away or a cleansing of things in the past and everything's going to be washed. After this flood I saw you on a big plot of land....or a farm. I saw you digging up and plowing, plowing and re-plowing and planting seeds. A lot of seed. Rich was out there digging (specifically him), digging and planting. As you plant and water, the seeds will grow. New things are coming. This is a season of plowing and planting.

With the flood, I saw deposits in the Earth. You guys are looking for treasure. I see you with a metal detector and a digging spatula. You are digging for deposits that the flood embedded in the Earth. I see a mighty outpouring. I hear the Lord saying He is giving you strength for this season to do these things. It's going to be a supernatural strength. He says as you find time in Him, He's going to give you time. You feel as though your time is stretched. Your time is thin. You are tired. God says He's going to give you supernatural time. You are going to see the Glory of God. He's going to stop the clock and give you time. Time to listen. Time to be strengthened. Time to be refreshed for this new season.

Sometimes people do not see the results of their work or the fruit of their harvest. God says you are going to see the results of your work. I see multitudes and multitudes......I see many people coming just to be refreshed by you; to listen to your words; for you to minister to them. Many, many people will come to hear you.

I hear the word vacation. Don't worry about the finances. God says who needs money! Just watch and see. God is going to bless your socks off! Rest. Honeymoon. Vacation. God is opening the floodgates of Heaven and pouring out a blessing on you.

That afternoon, we took the kids to the shores of Lake Ontario. We are blessed to live about 1/4 mile from a public-access beach. We often walk along the jetty, throw rocks and sticks and just enjoy the beauty of the outdoors. I was given a visual for the above word. It blessed my heart mightily.

Mystery Rides

When I was a kid, we would take "mystery rides." This tradition dates back to my own mother's childhood. On a Sunday afternoon, we would pack lunch and head off down the road with no idea where we were going but ultimately having the adventure of a life-time. We would sometimes get to our destination by flipping a coin at different intersections; heads we would turn right and tails left. Other times my dad would ask "left, right or straight?" and a different kid would answer each time.....of course, sometimes we would end up going in circles!! But mostly, we enjoyed the sites along the way.

Looking back on these adventures, I'm struck by a few things:

1) The ingenuity of my grandparents and ultimately my parents in keeping this tradition alive. It was such a great way to spend family time AND now that I'm a parent, I realize it was a way to keep the peace......no one had to decide where we were going. We all had an equal say in the destination and the road we took to get there. We thought our parents were the coolest people in the world.......letting us decide each and every step along the journey.

2) I sometimes think my parents had a destination in mind and others were true mystery rides even to them. They enjoyed the open space of the road and not being restricted by a time or a deadline to be somewhere.

3) They trusted that adventure was just around the corner. No matter our destination, we could enjoy ourselves anywhere!

Of course, I relate this to our current "Mystery ride:" God ultimately lets me decide "left, right or straight." Will I be obedient to the still small voice telling me which way to go? When I'm at an intersection, will I prayerfully consider the choice in light of the destination? He knows the destination and He is waiting for me to string together the steps to make it there. I am not restricted by a timetable or a deadline. He is in control. No matter the destination (or how long the journey takes), I will have an adventure and should enjoy the ride!.

Secret Power

My husband recently decided to clean and organize our storage room in the basement. Honestly, I was initially annoyed because we have so many other parts of the house that could use our attention.....all in places visible to our guests. I kept saying "what's the point? nobody sees this stuff." That was until, he started unearthing treasure: long lost photos, love letters from our college days, trinkets that commemorate different events.....we ended up spending a lot of time reminiscing about wonderful days gone by.........

In the piles of stuff (and embarrassingly boxes we haven't unpacked in the past 2+ years), was a book by Joyce Meyers called The Secret Power of Speaking God's Word.

Just like the title suggests, she outlines the power of daily quoting God's word out loud. Each scripture is categorized by topic: anger, anxiety, courage, faith, hope, prayer, stress, victory, wisdom worship and so on. I literally began using it that day.

Today the scriptures on patience speak loudly to my spirit:

Psalm 37:34 I won't be impatient for the Lord to act! I will keep traveling steadily along His pathway and in due season He will honor me with every blessing.

Psalm 40:1 I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord; and He inclined me and heard my cry.

Galations 6:9 I will not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season I will reap, if I do not loosen and relax my courage and faint.

Colossians 1:11-12 I will be strengthened with all power according to God's glorious might so that I may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully give thanks to the Father, Who has qualified me to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.

We have just over 2 weeks to send in our first set of fees. I believe God can and will do a miracle for our family. What's money to the God of the Universe?! I keep thinking what characteristic is He refining in me ........ today, the answer is patience.

Once this deadline is behind us, the monetary amounts due will increase and the deadlines will come more quickly. I need to learn my lesson each step of the way and keep my eyes focused on the One who has called me to this path.

Please join us in prayer for a miracle.

A Sweet, Relaxing Day

Today was special.

It began by Tim and Yarong giving me their hand-made Mother's Day gifts. Each designed/created by their loving hands and kept secret until just the perfect moment. How sweet. Yarong's gift also included chocolate. Extra sweet.

Later in the day, we went out to lunch at a local Mexican restaurant and then headed to Rochester's finest celebration: The Lilac Festival. As throngs of people standing around looking at flowers isn't exactly my husband's speed, I reminded him that in two short months Yarong would be heading back to China. She couldn't possibly return without seeing the pride and joy of our region. He said: "You're right, honey." How sweet. I also played the Mother's Day card. To which he smiled and said: "We'll do whatever you want, honey!" That's the sweetest answer of all!

At the Festival, we of course encountered thousands of people, beautiful Lilacs (other flowers too), yummy food, fantastic artwork and good music! At each new sight, I'll just remember the smiles on my childrens faces. How sweet. I also remember that the weather seemed custom-designed for my husband............58 degrees and WINDY!!!! He seemed to enjoy the festival more than anyone. He gave it two thumbs up. Hard to believe he's been in Rochester for almost 15 years and never gone. Truth be told, he's looking forward to next year. What a sweetie!

After a few hours of taking in the sites and as many picture as possible, we headed home for a family dinner. Steak on the grill, zucchini, mushrooms and rice.......and of course, Chinese Tea:) we called it a night.

Gary called around 9pm to tell me he hadn't forgotten about me. What a sweet boy.

My extra sweet present was a hand-written love letter from my husband.

It was a sweet, sweet day.

Bruised Knees (But Worth it?!!)

This morning was week two of Tim's swimming lessons. After class, I stopped at a nearby farm market to look at some flowers.......after all 'tis the season to get planting!

The owners are smart. In addition to flowers, they have mini-golf and a big wooden playground. This year, they've also added a jumping pillow. This huge, inflated pillow gave my son nearly an hour of jumping fun while mommy looked around. They also sell ice cream and kid friendly lunches etc. Super smart!

There's a small fee for the jumping pillow that to Tim's delight earned him a neon-colored paper bracelet to confirm that we paid. He jumped away and when shear tiredness set in, we headed home.....

Once in the driveway, I asked Tim to run down and check the mail. Seconds later I heard a scream like none other. As he was juggling the mail out of the box, his paper bracelet fell off and blew away. Doing the only thing he knew to do, he dropped the mail and took off running down the street after the paper bracelet.

Much to my dismay, he paid no attention to the road. His eyes were set on the bracelet. He ran faster than I've ever seen him run! The bracelet was round and it was windy! You can imagine the site of a 4 year old boy chasing after this neon PAPER bracelet (screaming!!!) as the wind carried it further and further from our house. Nothing I yelled even entered his cognition. He had one thing on his mind.

Unfortunately, the wind can be cruel. For a split second the bracelet came to rest and he DOVE for it. Arms out straight he leapt with all his might. He came crashing down on both knees and rolled onto his left shoulder. At that instant, the wind took the bracelet again. He looked back at me with tears in his eyes....not because he fell but because he needed to run again. He took to running like a super hero and moments later caught up to the bracelet.

I will never forget the smile that lit up his face when he turned around. He was dirty from head to toe, had blood running down both legs clear to his sneakers and an arm that epitomized road rash..........but he had his prized possession. We walked back to the house in silence.....could I really give him a lesson in looking both ways before he crossed the street? .....could I really say "buddy, it was only a paper bracelet!".....nope we walked back in the house in silence happy to have won the prize.

It was silent, just until he looked down and realized he was hurt and there was BLOOD! Then it was screaming and crying and carrying on until just the right combination of mommy's hugs and kisses, medicine, popsicles, knees propped on pillows with the fan blowing on him and his favorite TV show playing that he finally gave in and was silent again! He layed there milking the situation for all it was worth until daddy got home and then somehow he was very brave....

At bed time, he said to me: "Mom, I'm sure the bruises will go away before winter. I'm just glad I got my bracelet back."

Of course, I reflected on the lesson in all of this......

Sometimes, winning the prize will get you a few bumps along the way. In the end, the bruises fade and the prize becomes all you see.

Homestudy Update

Our home study visit last night was super easy. We chatted for a few minutes, handed in our hard work completed over the past few months including half of the home study fee and then took a brief tour of our house. In and out in an hour. In a few weeks, we'll be called to the office to review the draft and then a few weeks later we'll have our completed document. If only everything could go so smoothly.

Our only issue was Obi. He kept wanting to cuddle with the social worker.....not a bad thing if you're a dog person but not everyone is. He didn't understand why we kept shooing him away. Poor guy. Thankfully, Yarong and Tim kept him in the living room while they watched Spy Kids (or at least tried to!).

Official Homestudy Visit Tonight

Our social worker arrives at 7pm tonight......lots of cleaning to do before then and we both have a full day of work. Pray for us! It will feel great to finally have a tangible item checked off our list.

A real lesson in persistance!

Honestly, my entry yesterday was entitled "a lesson in persistance" as a cute way to show some new photos of Caroline. In the end, the entire experience turned into just that: a lesson in persistance!

I've used JTM for the last 2 months without trouble. As a blog novice, this site has been a great way to get started. I've never had a single problem creating, editing, uploading photos etc. I'm sure you know where I'm going with this. I sat down yesterday morning with 10 minutes to spare. I knew exactly what photos and in what order I planned to enter them. You guessed it! Nothing worked. I couldn't upload a photo. I couldn't even write text. Inexplicably, nothing worked. I tried for longer than I wanted....and was almost late picking up Tim from pre-school. I kept trying throughout the day. I tried on different computers. I tried different photos....and nothing worked. Finally, late last night, 10 hours after beginning my efforts, as if I had never tried before.....poof, the pictures appeared and the entry was complete!

It would have been easier to change my plans. But I persisted.

It would have been easier to give-up. But I persisted.

It would have been easier to do anything at all but what I was doing. But I persisted.

It was a lesson learned. Looking back over the weekend, this same lesson was written all over it. I just wasn't paying attention (yet!).

My Saturday morning began with Tim's first swim lesson without mommy. We have a pool that he loves.......as long as he's wearing a life-jacket. We want him to be more independent and so, I signed him up for an 8 week session at the local YMCA. I was not prepared for the tears that ensued when the teacher called his name. I had to coax him into the water. Finally, he jumped in, laughed in shear delight for 30 minutes and, of course, had to be coaxed out of the water. I had to persist and because I did, he had the time of his life.

Gary came for a visit on Saturday and Sunday. Without sharing the details, it was a very difficult two days. My heart wants him to be in a completely different place maturity-wise. We've been pouring into him for the past 3 years and sometimes I am very discouraged at his choices (his very, very bad choices). As my husband reminded me, we have to persist. For him, we will persist. We have to. It's a matter of life (or death).

When I think about our adoption journey several of these lessons come to mind:

It would be easier to change our plans. But we persist.

It would be easier to give-up. But we persist.

It would be easier to do almost anything else. But we persist.

One day, we will know the joys of adoption first hand. We will have the smile of sweet success and the product of our persistance will be loved and cherished and adored. Until then, whether it takes 10 minutes, 10 weeks, 10 months or 10 years, we will persist! This is a lesson well-learned.

Would you believe this is the third time I've typed this entry? The other two were lost. I'm still persisting!

Just One Minute

A favorite saying from my little flip-calendar says:

I have only just a minute.
Only sixty seconds in it.
Forced upon me.
Can't refuse it.
Didn't choose it.
But it's up to me to use it.
I must suffer if I lose it.
Give account if I abuse it;
Just a tiny little minute--
But eternity is in it.

I want to be crazy for God. I want His finger prints over every aspect of me, of my family, of my life. I desperately want the above statement to ring in my ears every moment. What am I doing for God in this instant? What am I doing for God today? What am I doing for God with my life?

I could change the words to reflect that.

I have only just one life
How many years are in it?
Forced upon me.
Can't refuse it.
Didn't choose it.
But it's up to me to use it.
I must suffer if I lose it.
Give account if I abuse it;
Just a tiny little life--
But eternity is in it.

Our actions may not make sense to the world. We have a beautiful family.......a smart as a whip son and a cute as a button daughter. We have good jobs, a nice house, a loving marriage.....and the blessing of being able to freely worship our Savior. But still I trust that there's more. I want more opportunities to minister His love......I want His perfect design and plan for my life. I know adoption (multiple times over!) is part of that plan and it comes with a price.


I'd be lying if I didn't say I want the quick fix---I want the finances to appear in my mailbox now. Yet we wait.....for His perfect provision.

He has called us to this journey.

He has called us to this life.

He gave me this moment to do something for Him.

Hopeful today

We have a jam-packed weekend.

Tim is starring in his second school play this evening. I'm hoping it goes better than at Christmas when he yelled at the audience to stop laughing at him! He was braying like a donkey and just too cute for words with his other pre-school classmates. Of course his pointing at the crowd and reiterating " I mean it. Cut it out. Stop laughing!" made the audience roar even louder.

Tomorrow, Yarong is taking the SAT's as she's beginning to think about attending college here in the US. We'll spend the afternoon at RIT Imagine; a wonderful festival at our alma mater. Then, we'll cap the evening listening to the Rochester Chinese Choral Society's annual concert. We're, of course, looking forward to the music but extra excited for the reception that follows! Something about authentic Chinese food makes my family beside themselves!

Sunday we hope to relax and take in some nice weather. We also have to finish the paperwork for our social worker visit on Wednesday.

At this moment, I'm praying for a Divine connection this weekend. I feel like we're on the verge of something big.....don't know what.....but I'm hopeful today for what tomorrow will bring.