Makin' It Real

Late last week, when I was still feeling very sad and discouraged about Lucy's passing, I was driving to work and for a moment enjoying my "alone time." I was praying that I needed motivation to work on our adoption paperwork as it had fallen by the wayside in the grief of Lucy, the preparation and travel of Easter and just the general craziness of life. It seemed so far off and not a reality at the moment. I wanted to know/feel/experience the realness of the situation. I wanted to remember that at the end of this was a baby/child as real and as loved as my two kiddos. I simply prayed: "Lord, make it real to me. That's all the motivation I need to continue. Please, make it real."

Later that day, I smiled as I read a pressing e-mail from my agency. They wanted to urgently speak with me regarding a possible referral that had come their way in an unusual fashion. I said audibly in the middle of work "thanks for making it real, God."

Even before I called the agency back, I didn't have an impression in my spirit that the child was mine. I can't explain it other than I just had a feeling. However, I still wanted to hear the situation and see what God was up to. I spoke with someone from the agency and learned the details of this precious little one. I was asked to view photos and file information etc. Of course, I said yes knowing that I could fall in love with any baby but praying that I would know 'my' baby. They gave us one day to look at the file and make a decision. To make a long story short, I never felt that we were to proceed and my husband felt the same way.

Nothing could be more "real" than looking into the eyes of an orphan half way around the world in need of a home. I've been praying fervently for this little one to find their home and boy has it lit a fire in me to press forward towards the goal.

*Our social worker is scheduled for our home visit on May 6th at 7pm. From that point, we're one month to completed homestudy....................